Official Wedding Made Easy|6 Tips To Avoid The 6 Dangers Of Cohabiting

A young man I once knew made his girlfriend pregnant and they started staying together.

A few months after their daughter was born, they broke up due to misunderstandings. The lady went with the child and the young man who loves the daughter dearly could not access her and was unable to provide for her.

I wonder if the good times of the months they shared was worth the pain of heartbreak, separation, and the suffering of an innocent child. I wish I had this article to share with him then; Love Vs Infatuation|11 Characteristics Of True Love In A Relationship

I’ve witnessed a sad scenario in some churches where couples cohabit and they’re not corrected or rebuked. The church may even allow them to serve in ministry and this makes singles think it’s no big deal to live with their lovers before marriage. (Ecclesiastes 8:11)

As Christians, we live to please God more than anyone else, including ourselves. Why would you comprise on your godly standards and destroy your relationship with God over someone you’ve just met?

I’ve talked to young people who decided to cohabit and they gave all kinds of excuses – finances, knowing each other, family dynamics – yet they’re many others who were in similar situations but married officially.

If you have the desire to honour God, He’ll make a way for you to start a family, even if it means saying your vows in a church office. At the end of that day, you’ll be as officially married as one who wedded in a church full of people and had a big reception.

6 Dangers Of Cohabiting

#1: Cohabiting leads to fornication which is one of the 18 common sins of sex. As a Christian, your body is God’s property and the temple of His Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

#2: You dishonor your parents because you didn’t get their blessings and this shortens your days on earth. Honoring parents is the only commandment with a promise. (Ephesians 6:2)

#3: You experience one or more of the 18+ ugly and universal consequences of sexual immorality.

#4: You automatically increase your chances of divorce because of trust issues, low commitment and lack of spiritual cover and the blessing of holy matrimony.

#5: As a Christian, you’re not the light and salt of the world. This hurts the cause of Christ. Perhaps Christians who cohabit didn’t believe in the true gospel and may not be a new creation in Christ. Therefore, they lack the power of the Holy Spirit to resist and overcome sin. (1 John 3:6-10)

#6: You show a bad example to your future children and set them up for bigger costly mistakes in the future. For instance, why would they listen to your counsel on sexual purity if you didn’t follow it yourself?

Think about his; how many girls have cohabited – cooked food, washed clothes and even given birth in the relationship only to be abandoned and start life afresh? Don’t you realize that if someone truly loves you and loves God, they would marry you officially first?

True love delights in what is right and will do everything possible to protect each other. It’s also patient and will wait for the right time to live together.

If you’re a Christian man, please don’t take someone’s daughter to your house without the blessing of your parents and pastors.

If you’re a Christian lady, please don’t start cooking and taking care of a man who has not respected you enough to meet your family.

If you start living together like that, nothing will stop either of you from walking out of the relationship and starting afresh elsewhere.

If you don’t fear God enough to honour Him in your private life, you won’t have the courage to honour Him in your cohabiting relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner to honor God, you’ll struggle to trust them to honour and be faithful to you, an imperfect human being.

Obey God first and shame the devil. And God will honour you too. He says, “…I will honor those who honor me, and I will despise those think lightly of me.” (1 Samuel 2:30)

Would you like to know whether the person you’re relating with is right for marriage?

Dear ladies, please read this article; For Single Ladies Only|How Do I Know He’ll Love Me In Marriage

Dear gentlemen, please read this article, For Single Men Only|How Do I Know She’ll Respect Me In Marriage

4 Tips To Avoid Cohabiting

#1: Resolve To Live A Sexually Pure Before God

Most people who cohabit want to enjoy the benefits of married people like sexual intimacy without commitment. Exercise the FLEE PLAN to overcome sexual temptations.

#2: Prepare For Marriage First

Before you start a love relationship, you must know 10 things about yourself first. This will pave the way to make the journey easy because you’ll be sure of who you are and what you want.

You also need to know the 15 ways of valuing people. A lack of people skills can be a huge hindrance to building flourishing relationships.

#3: Assess Your Financial Ability

Be in a position to meet the basic needs of shelter, food and medication. Those who cohabit can meet these needs because what they can survive on while cohabiting can be enough when they’re married.

The other sticky issue for some couples is dowry. Seek the help of your parents and spiritual leaders to come to an agreement that works for both families. As a groom, don’t commit to something you’ll struggle to fulfill because of pressure or trying prove your manhood.

One of the people to avoid to marry is a lazy Christian who doesn’t like to work as pointed out in this article; Who Should I Not Consider For Courtship?|5 People To Avoid.

#4: Plan Wedding Within Your Means

If you need to marry fast and you don’t have enough funds for functions, explain your financial situation to your parents and spiritual leaders and seek their counsel.

For those who have to do introductions at the home of the girl and a church wedding, consider combining those events on the same day.

Covid 19 era taught us scientific weddings where only a few people are invited. Even if ten people attend your wedding, it’s okay. God will be pleased with your sacrifice and zeal to honour Him.

Please don’t fall in the temptation of borrowing money to make a wedding. It’s not worth the pain of strugggling in the first years of your marriage. Do you know that after the wedding you can’t go to people to ask for help? You’ll have to carry your cross as a couple, so don’t please people at the expensive of your peace of mind.

And God willing, you can do a big wedding when you get the resources.

#5: Trust God To Provide

You may be afraid because you don’t have any savings but trust God to make a way and be willing to work within the little or much you get. It always takes faith to do things that please God because you have to go against culture and peer pressure.

#6: Attend Pre-Marital Counseling

The counsellors will not only assess your readiness for marriage but will also help you overcome the roadblocks that may hinder you from starting a family. And most importantly, counseling will help you start a family on a strong foundation.

If you’re already cohabiting. Repent now.

As you begin the process of putting things right, one of you needs to move out of the cohabiting home as you make arrangements to enter holy matrimony. If you have children, explain to them why you’ve decided to do that and the process it will take to be together again as a godly family.

That’s tough. But it’s necessary to reset your relationship for the sake of the many years you have ahead of you.

And if you’re not sure about marrying each other, it’s important to pause the relationship, pray about it and make the decision when you’re ready. It’s useless to stay in a relationship that has no future. You’ll not only be wasting each other’s time but may hurt each other in ways that will scar you for the rest of your lives.

Remember that love is a choice not a feeling. Sometimes you’ve got to put aside your feelings and use your head in order to spear yourself needless trials and tears.

Marriage is holy and honorable before God, parents, spiritual leaders and friends. It’s a lifetime commitment to your spouse. Those who play with it and in it experience much heartbreak, unhappiness and sometimes death.

Therefore, you need to enter this God-ordained institution when you’re ready.

Check out the tests of marriage in this article God Designed Marriage To Test You|The Divine Helper In Your Spouse.

Thank you for reading this article. I welcome your comments and questions – as iron sharpens iron, let’s sharpen each other.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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