Do This 1st Before You Start A Love Relationship | 10 Things You Must Know About Yourself

During our teen years, we have low self-esteem because of the changes taking place in our bodies, emotions and identity. I remember the thoughts of not being handsome enough, spiritual enough and failing to look people in the eye while communicating.

That was then.

I now appreciate the fact that God gives each of us a unique physique, fingerprint, tongue print, personality and perspectives on life. I’ve learnt to love how I look, how I speak and no longer fear interacting with others.

In the coming weeks, we shall be posting articles about relationships. But we can’t address issues between you and another person before we deal with you first. That’s because who you are and how you see yourself will affect who you chose and how you relate with them.

If you don’t know and value yourself, you’ll struggle to do the same for another person.

Jesus said, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

Did you know that we see others as we see ourselves? Yes, we do.

And often, we treat others as others have treated us before. When we are hurting, we hurt others. And we teach others what we were taught. So, we can’t give what we’ve not received. That’s life.

As a Christian, do you know your identity in Christ? Has the love of Christ transformed your life and filled you with His love? Can you say you are happy and at peace with yourself?

Before Christ enters our lives, we are dead in sin. Life is all about our desires, interest and dreams. In that state, we love others because of what we can get from them and out of the relationship, not what we can give. That’s the big problem.

After hearing and believing the true gospel, repenting of our sins and giving our lives to Christ, life ceases to be about us. Our chief desire becomes to please our Saviour, Lord and Commander-in-chief – Jesus Christ. God pours His love into our hearts and sends us out to love others as He has loved us. That’s the solution to the big problem.

When you become a Christian, you become a new creation with a new identity. Your life is different from the rest. Here is what happens;

#1: You get a new identity in Christ as a;

+ Son/daughter who pursues intimacy with God.

+ Student who studies the Word of God and obeys it in character, conduct and conversation.

+ Soldier who fights the good fight of faith against Satan and temptations.

+ Servant who uses his talents, spiritual gifts and learned skills to serve others.

+ Saint who strives to live a holy life in a wicked generation.

+ Steward who manages God’s resources of time, body, money, and relationships.

+ Sojourner who represents Christ well on earth as you journey to heaven.

Read more about these identities HERE.

#2: You take great care of your physical body because it’s God’s property purchased by Christ on the cross. His Spirit lives in you. You eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, drink enough water, and avoid junk food, drugs and alcohol.

#3: You take care and feed your innerperson on the Word of God and connect with your heavenly Father through prayer and fellowship with other believers.

#4: You grow your mind through reading books to gain knowledge and gain skills for ministry and career.

#5: You don’t entrust your happiness and peace to another person. You don’t let the actions of others steal your peace and joy.

#6: You are quick to accept correction and make appropriate changes. You don’t take criticism personally.

#7: You learn to express your feelings of hurt or disappointment in a firm and calm way rather than keep quiet and die on the inside, leading to bitterness and anger.

#8: You have godly friends you enjoy spending time with you for encouragement, laughter and accountability.

#9: You develop your hobbies and don’t let yourself be idle or bored.

#10: You know the strengths and weaknesses of your personality.

Until He began His ministry, Jesus grew in stature, wisdom, and in favour with God and man. The better you become in these four areas of your life, the more prepared you’ll be to accomplish your life’s assignments, including marriage!

Take singlehood as the foundation of your future family. When you become the godly, complete and mature single God wants you to be, you’re building a firm foundation for your future courtship and marriage.

We dare say that the most important preparation for marriage is becoming the right person for your future spouse. Even in marriage, the only person you can change is yourself.

Therefore, start working on yourself now. The more godly you become, the better your chances of choosing the right person to marry.

Many singles think marriage will make them happy, yet they’re miserable when single. Others think their immaturity will disappear in marriage. They feel empty, lonely and sad because they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Because of this, they start relationships just for the sake of it without being ready.

It’s better to remain single than to start a relationship just for the sake of passing time or having someone in your life.

Believe me, preparing yourself for marriage will save you tons of mistakes and heartaches and will help you build a flourishing marriage one day. If you don’t know yet, God designed marriage to test those who enter it.

One other point regards the past. Do you know that your past affects your present and future? For instance, if someone abused you or you went through gender-based violence or experienced the negative consequences of polygamy, have you dealt with that part of your past? Are you ready to share that part of your life with your fiancée? Or do you need help to deal with it?

For the sake of the one you love and your future children, be honest with yourself and face your unpleasant history before it interferes with or destroys your love story.

Do This 2nd Before You Start A Love Relationship | 15 Ways To Value People

If you have any questions about love relationships that you’d like us to answer, please ask them in the comments below.

Thank you for reading this article. I welcome your comments and questions – as iron sharpens iron, let’s sharpen each other.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.