Is Love A Feeling Or A Choice?

The world depicts love as an overwhelming emotion that a person has no control over. In movies, a boy and girl fall in love and a few scenes later they’re throwing off their clothes like mad dogs. At that moment, the feelings of lust and hormones mingle into a passing moment of pleasure.

The challenge is that when people reduce love to fleeting feelings; it seems like an unavoidable accident that happens and the victims have no option. Perhaps this is why it’s called ‘falling in love.’

But love is a choice that’s made after knowing some basic things about the person you love – faith, family, character etc. The problem with feelings is that they fade, sometimes they’re there, and sometimes they’re not. But when one has chosen to love another, they’re committed whether or not they feel it. I know you may find this hard to understand but you’ll when you get married.

Ruth loved her mother-in-law though she had nothing left to offer her. She would have walked away, but she made a choice and committed to stay with Naomi all the days of her life. Because of that, she became one of the few women mentioned in the lineage of Jesus Christ, yet she was not a Jew. Read her story in the book of Ruth!

Some couples enter marriage because they feel so in love only to realize they no longer have the feelings a few months or years into the marriage. What happened?

Let’s use the illustration of love between a child and a parent. If you have a great relationship with your parents, do you have strong feelings of love for them all the time or not? I am blessed to have my dad and mum and I love them very much but my love for them is not a feeling that keeps me awake at night!

If you marry someone because of the hyper feelings of love and one morning wake up without the feelings, what do you think will happen next? Will you have fallen out of love?

Some couples in the process of divorcing say they no longer love each other or no longer feel the same way about the other person. Feelings are clouds that are always on the move.

If you’re not yet sure what true love is, read our previous article Love Vs Infatuation|11 Characteristics Of True Love In A Relationship.

When you see love as a choice and a commitment, you’ll be careful how you use the words I love you. People have overused the word love it longer means much to them.

Treasure the words I LOVE YOU and only say them to the one you’ve chosen and committed to love for the rest of your life.

If you have any questions about love relationships that you’d like us to answer, please ask them in the comments below.

Thank you for reading this article. I welcome your comments and questions – as iron sharpens iron, let’s sharpen each other.

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