12 Ways To Prevent Adultery In Marriage| We Are Candidates of Cheating

Any married person is capable of cheating.

I can cheat any time anywhere. I can flirt with the beautiful ladies I meet. But I don’t because it will not only break God’s heart and that of my wife, but it will also have a ripple effect on other areas of my life as we discussed in the previous article .

Living a godly life in a wicked generation is impossible without being born again and receiving the power of the Holy Spirit who is the Helper and Counsellor of a Christian.

Jesus himself said,

“Apart from me you can do nothing.”  (John 15:5)

I stopped relying on my wisdom or that of other people when trying to find solutions to life’s problems. I first consult the Word of God and then ask the Holy Spirit to help me. And sometimes God has used godly men and women to give me wise counsel.

Clearly, we need God’s wisdom and strength to remain faithful to our spouses.

Sometimes the temptation to cheat comes because our spouses are not treating us right, because of personal addictions or because we want to achieve some goal, but cheating is never a sustainable solution to any problem.

Two wrongs cannot make a right.

Before we get into the ways of preventing cheating, please know that nobody can stop or prevent anyone who wants to cheat. God gave us the gift of free choice.

The following 12 ways of preventing cheating are suggestions. They can only work if a couple is committed and determined to remain faithful to each other. and they are not a guarantee of preventing cheating but if they can work in a particular couple’s relationship, they’re worth considering.

#1: Know Who You Are

Your confidence should come from your identity in Christ, not a fellow human being. Your relationship with God should be more important than your relationship with your spouse or any other human being.

“This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
who rely on human strength
and turn their hearts away from the Lord.”  (Jeremiah 17:5)

The moment you make someone your everything, you’ve made them an idol and you set them up for destruction by God who doesn’t compete with idols.

It’s also very helpful to know your purpose and assignment in life, so you’re not a prisoner of yourself or someone else. A couple that’s united by God’s mission for their lives sticks closer and grows stronger.

Check out this article on what you need to know before you start a relationship; Do This 1st Before You Start A Love Relationship | 10 Things You Must Know About Yourself

#2: Set Clear Boundaries For Your Marriage

When you know who you are and your value as a human being, it’s important to let your spouse know the things you will not entertain in your relationship like abuse, adultery, abdication and abandonment.

Abuse is even a police case. No one has a right to beat, slap or push you around physically. If they do, let it be clear that the police will get involved.

Adultery is unacceptable, disrespectful and unloving because of the vows couples make to each other to forsake all others. That holds before God and the law of the country.

Abdication means someone who refuses to perform their marital duties like sexual satisfaction, a man providing for the family and a woman keeping the home. That’s not acceptable, too.

If it happens and it’s causing conflicts in the family, agree to invite parents, pastors or a marriage counsellor to intervene before things escalate.

Abandonment is when someone disappears from home for long periods (say one to two years) without a good reason or agreement with their spouse. This too is unacceptable in a relationship and its court case.

The best time to set these boundaries is during courtship.

#3: Satisfy Each Other’s Emotional Needs

Husbands need respect and wives need love. Because of our upbringing, personalities and life experiences, the words respect and love may mean different things to different people.

Therefore, husband, ask your wife what love means to her. And wife, ask your husband what respect means to him. Then agree on how you’ll best make each other respected and loved in the relationship.

Remember that these emotional needs are like sap in a tree, without meeting them your spouse will begin to wither. And if they meet someone who meets their emotional needs, they come alive and find it harder to resist cheating.

Please couples, never take each other’s emotional needs for granted.

Read more about how to make your spouse happy in this article THE SIMPLICITY & DIFFICULTY OF MARRIAGE|How To Make Your Spouse Happy Without Doing Anything For Them

#4: No Secrets

At the start of a relationship, agree that you won’t have any secrets between each other. The past, present and future is an open book as the two of you are concerned.

We may not unload everything we’ve been through at once or go through daily, but can determine to not lie about anything or hide important information we know our spouse needs to know.

One way to achieve this is to give free access to your phone, tabs, emails and social media platforms. My wife and I have free access but guess what, she has never given me a reason to go through her messages or call log.

“But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

#5: Confess Feelings & Sins

When you sense a strong liking for another person or someone likes you, tell your spouse. The more your feelings grow in the dark, the harder it’ll become to uproot them once they begin to manifest.

And if you’re struggling with any sin or stress, learn to open up with your spouse. Keeping silent and hiding personal struggles will only make them worse and push you to do things you’ll regret.

 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…” James 5:16

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Proverbs 28:13

#6: Start Your Relationship Right

Don’t cohabit. Start a family with the blessing of your parents and witness of your spiritual leaders and friends.

If you’re not sure this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t waste their time.

If you love them, then prove your commitment by marrying them and letting the world know you belong to each other for life.

Check out the article Official Wedding Made Easy|6 Tips To Avoid The 6 Dangers Of Cohabiting

#7: Don’t Leave Apart For Long Periods

Be open to each other about what you can handle or can’t handle regarding being away from each other.

Apostle Paul advised married couples not to abstain for a long time lest they’re tempted because of their lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

People who do business and ministers who travel often need a strategy for how to overcome sexual temptations. If the strategies are not working out, saving your marriage is a priority over building a company or ministry.

Check out this article Married Christian Couples Should Not Live Apart| 4 Reasons Why

#8: Learn Contentment

Be grateful for what you have in your spouse and with the status of your life rather than comparing and competing with other couples.

The grass may seem greener on the other side but it’s not you watering it.

Focus on your garden.

Read more about contentment in this article 7 Wrong Ways We View Contentment|5 Signs You’re Content

#9: Declare Your Earnings & Expenses

As we mentioned earlier, cheating involves spending or receiving money most of the time.

It’s wise to open up about how, where and when you earn for purposes of accountability and building trust with your spouse.

#10: Do Everything For The Sake Of Christ

Sometimes we do nice things for the ones we love to keep them and expect them to never let us down. But we forget that we should be nice not because we’re insecure but because it’s our nature to love God and people.

Do good to others without expecting repayment or good from them.

Read more about how to make your spouse happy without expecting anything in return in this article THE SIMPLICITY & DIFFICULTY OF MARRIAGE|How To Make Your Spouse Happy Without Doing Anything For Them

#11: Communicate About Everything

Time is the currency of love. And communication requires spending time together to know each other and connect emotionally and spiritually.

Couples who are intentional and consistent to connect and commune build strong and lasting marriages.

Read more about building a flourishing family in their article Time is The Currency Of Love|9 Pillars Of Building A Flourishing Family

#12: Cut Off Whatever & Whoever Tempts You

Be merciless and combative when protecting your soul and your marriage.

Jesus says when talking about adultery, whatever causes you to sin, cut it off. If it’s your job, friend, phone or something else, cut it off now.

If someone or a friend is drawing you to cheating on your spouse, cut them off. No meeting them or chatting with them. The battle is that fierce.

Read more about guarding your heart against sexual immorality in this article LEAVE The Sexual Stimulators Now|Guard Your Heart!

If you have friends who you know are cheating on their spouses, tell them you’re uncomfortable with it and if they insist on staying on that path, cut them off.

It was, it is and it will always be that,

“Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Thank you for reading this article. I welcome your comments and questions below – as iron sharpens iron, let’s sharpen each other.

 “Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” (John 13:17, James 4:17)

If you have inquiries or need help email us at passonleader@gmail.com or Whatsapp +256772585708

Follow us @passonleader on Facebook|Instagram|Twitter|YouTube|TikTok

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. (https://www.biblegateway.com)

Image by prostooleh on Freepik.