You Can Be Happy Meeting People’s 12 Vital Needs BUT Expect Little!

Every human being matters.

Every human being is made in the image of God.

And no matter how fallen, depressed, deprived or degraded a person becomes, they still have value because their soul will exist forever.

Our Creator knows what we need to flourish on Earth.

Sadly, people often choose to do as they please and have fun in whatever way they choose but in the process complicate their lives because they refuse to heed God’s guidelines.

As you read the 12 vital needs of people, think of ways you can meet them in your life and in the lives of those you live with, work with and meet with wherever you go.

Usually, people want to use people to get what they want but when you give people what they need most, three things happen.

One, you’re more joyful, happier and fulfilled because you met the need of someone.

Two, you increase your chances of getting what you want from others. Because you’ve touched their hearts, they’ll instinctively want to repay you in kind.

Three, God is pleased with you.

Even when those you’ve been good to do nothing for you in return, God will reward you for the good deeds. He doesn’t forget.

Man’s Greatest Need In One Word

Perhaps the one word that captures the longing of every human being on earth is LOVE.

Love is the oxygen of all relationships. God made us to love Him and love people.

Because God is love, we can’t claim to love God and hate people. He pours His love into our hearts so we can love others. That means our struggle to love others is a result of not receiving and reciprocating God’s love. (1 John 4:20, Romans 5:5)

People need love desperately and continually.

Love is valuing others because they’re unique and made in the image of God. It’s understanding their needs and meeting them as much as possible. Many times, we’re too selfish to get out of our way and put our desires aside in order to serve and love others.

Jesus said the second greatest commandment is this;

“A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

(Matthew 22:39)

There is something about love that makes life worth living. No wonder it’s captured in novels, music, books and movies.

Apostle Paul said love is the most excellent way to live.

Speaking in tongues, doing miracles, writing books, preaching, generosity and even martyrdom without love gains nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Without love, a person is dying or dead.

Without love, all is lost.

Because love is the oxygen and lifejacket of man’s soul, God loved the world and gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for undeserving sinners.

What kind of love is this?

“⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Love should be the best motivation for our thoughts, conversations and conduct toward others. When love is absent, whatever we do becomes a heavy burden we soon lay down or one that we endure grudgingly. Can such deeds please God?

“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love….Let love be your highest goal!”

(1 Corinthians 13:13, 14:1)

The 12 needs below are practical expressions of loving others.

12 Vital Needs & Fears Of Every Person

#1: People Need Intimacy With God…they fear to be separated and abandoned by God

We have a natural hunger and thirst for spiritual fulfilment and meaning. Every tribe in the world believes in a higher power that controls the world.

We should be careful not to belittle anyone’s beliefs but seek to understand and gently share our faith.

I believe the God who is revealed in the Bible is the true God, Jesus Christ is His son who died for man’s sins and His Spirit dwells in all who believe.

#2: People Need Knowledge, Training & Growth…they fear to be incompetent, ignorant and stagnant

We’re born with a blank mind and from the moment our eyes and ears open, the recording starts. What we learn determines our perspective on life. Then our perspective determines what we say and do.

Though children think they know a lot and can do anything, they’re also curious, questioning and willing to learn. As adults, we should not lose the curiosity and desire to learn as children do.

And because learning, unlearning and relearning never stops, we should keep growing our minds every day regarding the physical, spiritual, professional and social aspects of our lives.

Learn more about purpose and assignment; WHY AM I HERE?|Know The Purpose & Assignment of Your Life

Refrain from comparing or competing with others. You’re a unique person, on a personal journey and you don’t have to be or have what someone else has. Be grateful and content with what you have and make the most of it.

Rather than hinder someone’s progress because they’ll get ahead of you, do what you can to help them grow and be well. God will be proud of you and bless you according to His purpose for you.

When you do, you’ll also be fulfilling the second greatest commandment of loving your neighbour as you love yourself.

#3: People Need Physical Nourishment & Rest…they fear to be deprived and incapacitated physically

The body is the vehicle that takes us through life.

Our bodies tire and expire before their time because they’re exposed to bad eating habits, lack of exercise, lack of good rest and sleep.

We should do our best to avoid junk foods, overworking, drugs, alcohol and inactive lives so we can enjoy nourished bodies for the duration God gives us to accomplish His assignments on earth.

#4: People Need To Be Known Personally & Deeply…they fear to remain unknown

We have a natural desire to connect with others on a personal level. Loneliness is high in our days because people relate less and interact with phones and other machines more.

Take an interest in people. Know their names and ask them to share about their desires, worries, family, work etc.

Remember, the best gift and sign of love is spending quality time with loved ones.

#5: People Need To Be Listened To & Understood… they fear to be unheard and misunderstood

Listening is a skill that helps people to connect, live and work together. It lets someone speak without interrupting them, asks clarifying questions and uses body language like nodding, eye contact and touch where appropriate.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

(James 1:19)

#6: People Need Acceptance, Belonging & Support…they fear loneliness, being thrown out of a group or community

We desire to belong and be accepted in a family, church, company or community. Rejecting or discriminating against someone is a stab that causes great damage.

Let’s accept others through our words and actions. Greet those you encounter often and reach out to strangers who come your way and make them feel at home.

Serve people around you whenever you can, not because they deserve it, have asked for your service or because they’ll repay, but because you’re a loving person and for the sake of Christ.

When you can meet a need of someone, meet it. Help someone because it may be the only chance you’ll ever get. You’re a servant, that’s your identity as a Christian. (Hebrews 6:10, Matthew 23:11)

Learn more about your identity in Christ; WHO AM I? Know Your Identity In Christ & Reward As A Christian

And when those within your circles fail or wrong you, don’t be quick to reject and sideline them. Sometimes you fail too.

Make time for people, family, friends and strangers. Take advantage of birthdays, anniversaries and enjoy life together. It is easy to be caught up in the business and busyness of life.

Therefore, create an atmosphere that values people to build and maintain belongingness.

Learn more about building a flourishing family; Time is The Currency Of Love|9 Pillars Of Building A Flourishing Family

#7 People Need Appreciation, Praise & Affirmation…they fear to be unaffirmed, teased, bullied or unappreciated

From childhood until old age, every person needs appreciation when they do the right thing. It not only motivates them to keep doing the same, but it also makes them feel valued.

Seize every opportunity to say, “Thank you.” Well done.” “Keep it up.” “You’re awesome.” “You can do it.”

Praise the people in your life in private and in public and see them flourish before your eyes.

Even when they’re not doing the right thing, people need affirmation because of their value as a human being.

Affirm them. Be consistent in your display of affection. Show care. And remind them who God says they are.

Cheating in marriage, for instance, hurts badly because it denies someone multiple needs at once. Find out more; I Didn’t Know Adultery Is This Terrible|10 Ugly Consequences Of Cheating

#8: People Need Encouragement & Hope…they fear being discouraged and hopeless

Everyone faces challenges in life and moments of discouragement. In such times we need someone by our side to remind us of where we’ve come from and where we’re going.

Remember to give hope to the hopeless. Point them to the God of the universe who loves them and wishes the best for them.

“So encourage each other and build each other up,

just as you are already doing.”

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

#9: People Need Respect & Dignity…they fear being taken for granted and dishonoured

God made humans in His image and likeness. No other creature in the universe is like us. Because of this, we should respect, honor, and esteem everyone irrespective of their tribe, skin colour, economic status or position in society. We should be mindful of their rights and desires.

That means we should be happy to be who God has made us. No need to pretend to be who we’re not. If someone doesn’t like you as you are, it’s their loss, not yours.

Never compromise your Christian values to belong to any group. To be yourself requires you to accept and be content with who you are, what you do, your past and present circumstances as you do your best to become better within your means.

Be polite in your interactions with others and be quick to say “I am sorry.” “Please forgive me.” “How can I help?”

Respect people’s time. Keep time for appointments and meetings. Others may not keep time, but because you value them and their time, and because you keep your word, be there on time.

#10: People Need Forgiveness…they don’t like to carry guilt, shame and being unforgiven

Our sinful nature makes us sin against God and wrong each other.

When we sin, we ask God for forgiveness. And He promises to forgive and forget whatever we repent about.

In the same way, He forgives us, He expects us to forgive those who wrong us. If you don’t forgive, God will not forgive you. (Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 6:14-15)

This also means we should not revenge or pay back evil for evil. (Proverbs 12:16, Proverbs 25:21-22)

“Don’t repay evil for evil.

Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.

Instead, pay them back with a blessing.

That is what God has called you to do,

and he will grant you his blessing.”

(1 Peter 3:9)

Unforgiveness leads to anger, bitterness and even diseases.

It helps to respect the boundaries of others and request them to respect yours. Just because you have forgiven someone or given them a second chance doesn’t mean we should not set boundaries or let them face the consequences of their actions.

For example, if someone steals your property, they may have to repay it or face the law depending on the magnitude. That will also serve as a deterrence for them not to do it again.

We also need to be patient with others in their weaknesses. Some habits take longer to change than others. Give many second chances because God has given you many too.

#11: People Need To Be Useful and Contribute To A Worthy Cause…they fear to be useless or unneeded 

God creates every person for an assignment within a specific time in the world. When this is not clear, people become lazy, idle, disorderly and find life meaningless.

We need to serve others using the talents, spiritual gifts and skills God has given us. Loving others and meeting their needs in whatever small or big way we can brings joy and meaning in our lives.

#12: People Need To Be Challenged and Corrected…they fear failing and being stagnant

We naturally don’t want rebuke and correction but we need it. We don’t always do the right things and sometimes we don’t know what we’re doing though we think we do. (Proverbs 12:15, 14:12)

God has placed authority figures in our lives like parents, pastors, government officials and employers at work to challenge, counsel and correct us. A wise person welcomes constructive criticism so they can become better.

We need to cultivate a culture of giving each other constructive feedback. In our families, fellowship or workplaces, we can create a session every month or quarter where we share about the areas we’re doing well and struggling.

Learn how coaching challenges you to be a better person; 5 Signs You Need A Life Coach ASAP| 5 Benefits of Getting a Coach

Which of the above needs are you intentionally meeting in the lives of those around you? Which one do you need to meet in your life urgently?

Meet the above needs in the lives of others but don’t always count on them to meet them for you.

Why do you think it’s difficult for us to meet these needs for each other?

I think because we’re naturally selfish. So, we need God to change our nature, pour His love into our hearts and fill us with His Spirit for us to love and serve others as He expects us.

Learn more about how God changes our nature and makes us a new creation HERE.